My Husband Wants Me to Pay Half of Everything (15 Helpful Tips)

If you want to know what to do when your husband wants you to pay half of everything, this article is definitely going to help you.

It reveals a lot of helpful information as well as specific tips to help you when this happens.

You see… 

Money can be a hot topic and one that can be a source of disagreement and contention.

The various topics associated with money can include how money is spent, adhering to a budget, what to do when there’s not enough money, etc.

Add all of these elements associated with money into a marriage and it could be a recipe for disaster.

 

Importance

Disagreement within the marital relationship and the relationship possibly experiencing difficult times is often associated with 3 key factors.

Those 3 key factors include the lack of communication, infidelity, and money.

With this in mind, what should a wife do when her husband wants her to pay half of everything in regards to the bills that come into the household?

 

Personal Story

When I exchanged marital vows with my soon-to-be wife, we had not talked about money or the handling of finances.

After the vows were sealed with a kiss, I soon realized that money was an important consideration and became a center point of our marriage.

Reared in an old fashion home, my father handled all of the finances and made all of the money decisions for him and my mother.

I assumed that was the way it was always done and would always be.

However, my wife came from a different background where the father was absent and her mother was the only breadwinner.

Consequently, rather than making an issue of the finances, I endeavored to understand where she was coming from and realized the importance of her having her banking account to make her feel secure.

To her credit, as she took employment outside the home, the bills were always shared to maintain the security of our household and the support of our family.

 

15 Tips to Help When Your Husband Wants You to Pay Half of Everything

 

1. Any Prior Agreements?

When it comes to sharing the expenses of the household, and the husband indicating that he wants the wife to pay half, the first question that needs to be asked was there any prior discussion about any financial arrangements?

If the handling of money in the household, as it relates to expenses, was discussed then it is important to refer back to that conversation and adhere to what was decided.

If no discussion occurred pre-marriage, it is then important to have that discussion and as soon as possible.

If the handling of the finances is unresolved it may lead to resentment on either partner’s part and therefore can create dissension and a troubled marriage.

 

2. Current Money Situation

The next issue that needs to be addressed is the question of the income that is coming into the home.

If the husband wants the wife to pay half the bills then the assumption is that the wife is earning a salary.

Therefore, if the expectation or request of the husband is for the wife to pay half, it is important to discuss whether this may be fair?

If the attitude and commitment of the husband and wife are that everything is jointly owned, then the question of whether paying half or not may be a moot point.

However, if either party feels that they are earning more or less and that the percentage of bills should be dependent upon that level of salary, then that discussion needs to be had as well.

An agreement needs to be obtained that if the wife is earning more than the husband then perhaps a percentage of her salary should be used proportionately in paying the bills and vice versa.

It is critical that both the husband and the wife feel that they do not have to beg or ask for money.

A strong marriage is based upon respect and trust and therefore, the spending of the money will reflect those commitments.

 

3. Budgeting

Another good starting point if paying half of everything in the household is an issue for the wife is the formulation of a budget.

It is important to sit down together and have this critical financial discussion and formulate a budget which will be a great tool in managing the household income and expenses.

Additionally, when the facts and figures are laid out in black and white, there may be an “aha” moment in which either one of the individuals realizes that perhaps there isn’t enough money on one salary alone to meet all of the expenses and retirement plans for the couple.

In that aha moment, there may be a decision that one of the individuals needs to pay more of their salary to meet their budget needs.

 

4. Communication

A critical tip on handling this situation is above all to communicate.

In an open, honest, and transparent marital relationship, communication is key.

The wife needs to express her concerns about the husband’s request that the wife pays half of all of the expenses in the household.

As part of the discussion, it may include her rationale, the unfairness, perhaps, of the request, and possibly, any experience that may be driving her concerns about his request.

Through dialogue, each will be able to share what they are feeling and what their reasoning is behind their actions and requests.

Above all, it is important to seek a resolution and find a compromise or common ground in handling the finances.

If left open-ended, the financial concerns will only continue to fester.

 

5. Financial Partnership

Another consideration that needs to be addressed and decisions about paying bills should be based on the current financial picture.

In other words, is there a joint checking account, separate checking account, are the credit cards in both names, etc.?

Other financial obligations may include a mortgage or rent, and whose names are on the loan or the rental agreement?

If the financial partnership has been established in a number of these areas then perhaps paying half or a percentage from one’s salary and the other percentage paid from the other individual in the marriage is appropriate.

Check out this article for tips on preventing money fights in a relationship.

 

6. Option Number 1 Keep the Peace

An option that a wife may have in regards to the husband’s request that she pay half of everything is to follow the husband’s request to keep peace in the family.

This option will certainly work in the interim but the unresolved matter may create challenges within the marriage as the wife gives in to the husband’s request but only did it for the sake of the marriage.

Although admirable, this may not be the appropriate choice as it may be a factor that can lead to marital difficulties especially if other difficulties are added on top of this unresolved issue.

 

7. Option Number 2 – Fracture the Peace

Another option for the wife in the situation is to challenge the husband and stand up for herself as to why she thinks it is important that being asked to pay half of everything is unrealistic.

For you as the wife, and an equal partner in the marriage, it is certainly your right and privilege to have a voice in the decisions made within the family.

Through an open and honest conversation, perhaps a resolution can be attained as both the husband and the wife give and take in regards to coming to a compromise.

 

8. Seek Counseling

If there seems to be an impasse as it relates to finances then perhaps bringing in a mediator or seeking counseling may be indicated.

For the sake of the marriage and to find financial harmony, a counselor may be able to help the husband and wife in their communications surrounding the financial issues in the home.

The agreement between the husband and the wife should be to strengthen the marriage and to utilize this potential process to arrive at a solution.

Of course, both parties would need to be willing to be part of this effort and see it as an opportunity to find an answer.

Also See: Places to Run Away to With No Money.

 

9. There Is No Right Or Wrong Way

When it comes to sharing the bills in a marital relationship, there is no right or wrong way.

There are only options and the options need to be identified and agreed upon by both parties.

As much as possible the agreed-upon option should be accepted, honored, and followed through on in respect to not only the marriage but out of respect for each other.

 

10. 50-50

A successful marriage is not like the fairy tales that we have read.

It is not that people fall in love get married and live happily ever after.

In between the marriage vows and living happily ever after are several challenges that both the husband and the wife will meet.

With the meeting of those challenges, both need to understand that the marriage is a partnership and sometimes is more than a 50-50 proposition.

Therefore, an important tip to follow in regards to the request to pay half of everything is about attitude.

The attitude of either partner can be that the request is fair whereas one of the partners considers the request to be unfair.

Again, through communication, attitudes can be adjusted and the request to pay half of the bills may be rescinded.

On the other hand, the wife may accommodate the request by understanding her own as well as her husband’s attitude.

 

 

11. Income Percentages

A possible solution that can be countered to the husband’s request to pay half can be the paying if there are 2 salaries, a percentage of the bills based on the income level of the husband or and or wife.

This would certainly be a compromise offered and, on the surface, seems fair that the individual with the higher salary would be more responsible for a higher percentage of the bills.

 

12. Separate Expenses

Another strong possibility of a wife resisting her husband’s request for her to pay half of all the bills is perhaps some of the expenses or bills incurred by the husband are not affiliated with the household.

For example, if the husband likes to go hunting and fishing and a major expense is the renting of equipment or land to hunt or fish on, it doesn’t seem quite fair that the wife should have to pay a portion or percentage of that specific expense.

Therefore, this point should be brought to the attention of the husband with hopefully the husband agreeing.

Those types of expenses not affiliated with the household should be subtracted from the overall budget of the husband and wife.

 

13. Separate Needs

Perhaps, there are several reasons why a husband is requesting that the wife pay half.

One of those reasons may be that he has separate needs and requires additional use of the household income.

He may need additional income to pay the expense of those separate needs to reduce the strain on the overall budget.

Examples could include the need to pay for any certifications or licensing, work-related expenses, premarital expenses, student loans, etc.

Once again, communication is a key factor, and transparencies of these additional added expenses need to be revealed so that full understanding can be viewed and adjustments in the budget made accordingly.

 

14. Compromise

A successful marriage is not attained with an attitude of it is my way or the highway.

The pants worn in the family and typically thought so by the husband is no longer a valid argument about authority in the marital relationship.

Marriage is a give-and-take deal.

Additionally, a successful marriage is about compromise. Therefore, it is about finding a middle ground between two opposing viewpoints or attitudes.

The wife should encourage compromise as well as the husband.

 

15. Sealed With a Kiss

It is important that once a decision has been made and both individuals in the marriage are satisfied with that decision that it is sealed with a kiss.

Perhaps, not literally, but certainly a commitment on the husband and wife’s part to follow through on the decisions made regarding the household income and expenses.

The sealing with a kiss would be a symbolic action that both are in agreement, that the marriage is on solid footing and their commitment to each other.

 

Splitting the Bill in a Relationship FAQs

 

How Should Married Couples Split Finances Based on Income?

With this system of sharing the expenses within the marital household there should be two separate checking accounts.

One checking account should be in the wife’s name and the other checking account should be in the husband’s name.

In each of those accounts, the husband and wife deposit their separate salaries.

Then after talking about how they want to share the cost of the relationship, they will agree upon which bills he will pay and which bills she will pay.

Also, the deciding of who pays what can be based upon the percentage of income that is coming into the household and who earns what percent of that income.

For example, if the husband is bringing in $2000 a month and the wife is bringing in $4000 a month then the total income would be $6000.

The percentage would then be for the husband, $2000 divided by $6000 or 33.33%.

Therefore, if this method of paying the bills is chosen the husband would pay $667 of the total $2000 a month in bills and the wife would pay the remaining $1333.40

 

Should I Have a Joint or Separate Checking Account From My Husband?

A joint checking account has typically been the method of the household finances handled with the depositing of income and the paying of expenses.

That way, in the event of something terrible happening in either person’s life, access to the funding is available without pursuing legal options.

A separate checking account may be indicated if that is a personal decision on the wife’s part or a mutual strategy for both the husband and the wife.

The benefits of a separate checking account include financial independence, financial autonomy, there are existing monies brought into the marriage that needs to be separate, there are premarital debts, perhaps you earn more money than your husband, or it may create a stronger marriage.

 

Conclusion

Money is a powerful commodity.

It can be the source of finding solutions and it can also be the source of creating dissension.

Through an understanding of money, differing attitudes, different experiences, and a commitment to communicate, a wife can talk to her husband and vice versa about the personal finances in the household.

The ultimate goal is not about the riches of money. The ultimate goal is about enriching the marriage.