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Reasons Why You Should Make Friends Online

Profile photo of redtiger Submitted by redtiger February 1, 2016

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When you were a baby, you needed your parents every step of the way in life. They dressed you, fed you and kept you warm and safe. They gave you love and acceptance. You were totally dependent on them.

Then slowly as you got older they eased you into the roles nature designed for humans, such as to walk on two legs and interact with others as well as with the world around you. You watched adults and you did as they did.

Still later school kicked in and slowly you began to feel comfortable in your environment. You started achieving more and more goals. Taking baby steps, you slowly walked the road to becoming independent. Along the way you developed and refined several skills. Becoming independent is a process of learning and practicing. It does not happen overnight.

Finally, in your middle to late teen years, you crossed the line between dependence and independence. You were able to look after yourself. You did not need anyone else to survive. You could find your own way around. You were finally a grown up, an adult.

Many people believe that once they are independent they have reached the pinnacle, but have they?

You are not as independent as you think

Just being independent does not mean you can take on the world and win. There will be days when you encounter problems that feel like mountains obstructing your way. The fact is, you can get past them but you cannot do it alone. You are surrounded by people who have struggled with the same problems you face. Very often they have found the answer. Their knowledge can be invaluable to help you past your own hurdles. You are not as independent as you may believe. You need people and you know what? They need you.

Independence is not what you need to function effectively as an adult. As Stephen Covey explains it so brilliantly in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, self-growth does not end with independence. There is one final boundary you have to cross. You have to move from independence to interdependence.

The value of interdependence is so often overlooked. It rests on two pillars.
1. Giving to the people around you to help them move forward.
2. Receiving from the people around you in order to help you move forward.

Emotion comes into play

Even if someone just tells you about a place where you can get your car fixed at a reasonable price, he or she has given you valuable knowledge. Chances are that you will like that person. The information came to you as part of a simple communication process but it triggered something outside of the process. It brought emotion into play.

Communication and emotion are interlinked. Words can hurt or bring anger. They cause you to laugh or to cry. They are powerful for one reason: They touch your emotions and we as humans are emotional beings.

In 1943 American psychologist Abraham Maslow published a paper called The Theory of Human Motivation. In it he outlined a pyramid of human needs that has become the accepted norm in understanding our actions and decisions. His pyramid looked like this:



At the very lowest level are our physiological needs. We need food, water and a place to stay.
Then our emotional needs take over and they dominate who we are.

. We need to feel safe.
. We strive to belong somewhere where we are respected and loved.
. Only if we have that we will view ourselves in a positive light and our self esteem begins to develop.
. A high self esteem means confidence.
. Confident people usually take the steps that will lead to self-actualization: to be all that they know they can be.

How does understanding human needs help the marketer?

When you fulfill someone’s needs they like you. In fact, on a certain level they see you as a leader or at the very least, a friend. This gives you an edge. They will rather buy from a friend than from a stranger.

Make your friends feel special

As a marketer it is your primary job to turn strangers into friends, not to go around advertising your products.
Give people unconditional acceptance. They want to be accepted. They want to feel special. Make them feel special. Be warm and sincere.

Go out onto the net with the idea to give. Give value but also give praise and build confidence.

In the process you shape perceptions and inspire confidence. Confident people have the courage to act. If your product can help them on the road to living the life they dream of and becoming the best they can be, they will act and buy from you. Then you have made a sale, but more importantly you have touched a life.

Making friends is as much a requirement of marketing as having a product to sell. Success often starts with the simple act of offering your hand in friendship.


This post was originally published in http://www.ipromagic.com/reasons-why-you-should-make-friends-online/ by redtiger

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Journalist for 35 years, including writing on the net for about ten. Journalism lecturer for five years.

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33 Responses to “Reasons Why You Should Make Friends Online” Leave a reply ›

  • Profile photo of Kevin Ross Profile

    Good post. It’s short and straight to the point. You’re right about the need to move from independence to interdependence and the importance. I also agree that making friends is as important online as having product to sell. By the way, being a journalist for 35 years is pretty awesome. I look forward to reading more from you and tapping into these 35 years of experience :)

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi Kevin
      Thank you very much for your kind comments.
      The great thing about journalism is that your product is life itself. You are “selling” the good and the bad to your readers.

      Working with young students taught me the importance of confidence.
      Confident people are leaders but those who find excuses to hide in dark corners become floor mats.

      A kind word can sometimes do so much to inspire confidence in people who face nothing but criticism day after day.
      When people learn we need each other, the world will be a better place.
      Thanks again
      redtiger recently posted…Reasons Why You Should Make Friends OnlineMy Profile

      • Profile photo of Kevin Ross Profile

        Thanks for the reply. I never thought of life itself being a product for journalism, as you explained it, makes sense. I agree with what you said about kind words and about people learning that they need each other, very wise words. Thanks.

  • Profile photo of Mi Muba Profile

    Very interesting post.

    It is generally believed that in online world most of things could be done with any automated setup which is not correct.

    Online world is just like offline world because here also human beings work and who can never work like machines be it any kind of world

    Here too personal relations and personal liking and disliking equally work so it is better to make as many friends as one can do and that is the basic principle of marketing.

    Many thanks for sharing this very lovely post.

    Have a great rest of the week
    Mi Muba recently posted…10 sensual ways to know the product your blog readers badly wantMy Profile

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi
      Thanks so much for your comment.
      You make a good point about automation. When you comment you speak from the heart. A robot has no heart.
      Thank you for pointing out that our identity as virtual people on the Internet is only an extension of who we are in the real world.
      Being kind and helpful applies in both worlds. Friends add color to our world.
      Every friend is a piece in the complex puzzle of who we are. We are poorer without them.
      redtiger recently posted…Donald Trump can Teach Marketers a LessonMy Profile

  • Profile photo of Sunday William Profile

    Hey Redtiger,
    I couldn’t agree with you more on this piece! Very vital points were shared and the most remarkable ones for me include:
    – You have to move from independence to interdependence.
    – Give value but also give praise and build confidence.
    – Confident people have the courage to act, and
    – Success often starts with the simple act of offering your hand in friendship.
    Every marketer must understand the importance of giving value, building trust and solving the needs of strangers. Success in this means success in marketing.
    Yes, we all need to make friends online because interdependence begat easy success for marketers!
    Sunday William recently posted…What Are You Doing About Productivity-Killing Email Overload?My Profile

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi Sunday
      Thanks for your very positive comments. They are highly appreciated.
      I am always surprised at how many people lurk on forums and read blog posts but seem to be reluctant to get involved.

      I believe when people try to help, give what you are able to give in return. If they just want to talk, talk back. If you don’t agree with what they are saying consider the possibility that they may be right and you are wrong. Whatever you do don’t be judgmental.

      No man is an island. We need each other’s positivity to feel good about ourselves. Only then can you look life in the eye, confident to overcome whatever obstacles it may place in your way. Confidence is strength and we can help each other become confident.
      redtiger recently posted…Yes, You Can Make Money on the NetMy Profile

  • Profile photo of Sherman Smith Profile

    Hey Redtiger,

    Interdependence is key.

    A lot of us believe that we can do it all alone, but in actuality its a genuine give and take.

    Making friends online and being a person of value and showing how others are also valuable to you will take you a long way in business and in life.

    When you are consistent in doing this, then you are successful.

    Thanks for sharing Redtiger! Have a good one!
    Sherman Smith recently posted…Commit, Connect, Convert (3 Tricks To Becoming An Online Heavyweight)My Profile

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi Sherman
      Indeed the key factor in the whole process is consistency. Being positive and helpful should become a way of life.
      There is probably no more potent driving force in our day to day life than attitude. If you develop an attitude of helping when and where you can, you grow as a person.
      Thank you for a great comment.
      redtiger recently posted…Yes, You Can Make Money on the NetMy Profile

  • Profile photo of Gary Waldrep Profile

    Hello,

    I like this post, and you are right about the reasons for making friends online.

    You made sense that marketers’ primary job should be to turn strangers into friends, not to go around advertising their products, but the big marketers are still making a lot of money without bothering about making friends.

    Remember the big product launch folks? They are not making friends with customers but still selling lots of their products. Why do you think that is?

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi Gary
      You are right about the big boys not bothering to make friends. It is a very good point.

      That shows you the power of effective advertising copy. It too plays on human emotion. The tactic here is often not to build trust through personal contact but through testimonials.

      The know, like and trust factor is still at play. It is a case of “If all these people say we are good guys then we must be.”
      Thanks for a great comment.
      redtiger recently posted…Reasons Why You Should Make Friends OnlineMy Profile

      • Profile photo of Gary Waldrep Profile

        Thanks for replying and for agreeing with the point I made.

        You’re right, it shows the power of effective advertising and playing on human trust.

        It also shows the power of getting their friends to recommend their products to their customer base, meaning what you said is true that like and trust factor is still at play.

  • Profile photo of Freedom Blogger Profile

    Hi Igert!

    Great article and great point you are talking about here.

    It is very true that we need each other, as a human specie, to progress forward and evolve and improve.

    There is a saying; “it is better to be unified than it is to be right”

    that is very true!

    You are talking about great points here man.

    And you know what else they say; “it is not what you know, but who you know, that makes the biggest difference!”

    Thanks for sharing this man!

    Keep up the great work!

    Cheers! 😀
    Freedom Blogger recently posted…5 Reasons to Start Using Influencer MarketingMy Profile

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi Freedom Blogger
      Thanks for your much appreciated comment. It underlines the role of interdependence.

      United we stand, divided we fall. It all starts with our need to belong and to have somewhere where we feel safe.

      To have knowledge is valuable but to gain new insight from people you trust and respect is even more so.

      Thanks again.
      redtiger recently posted…Reasons Why You Should Make Friends OnlineMy Profile

  • Profile photo of Rocky C Profile

    Awesome post mate.
    It points out the most simplest yet most ignored part of our world. It was very simple and sweet. I loved every bit of it.
    I would love see more post on the same lines.
    Cheers.
    Rocky C recently posted…Cyberbullying Prevention for the ClassroomMy Profile

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi Rocky C

      Thanks for your welcome comment.

      It is so easy to fall into the trap of finding our comfort zone in our own little dark corner where nobody can see us. A comfort zone however is a place of stagnation.

      Of course the cyber-world also brings its dangers and there are people out there who aim at stripping away confidence rather than nurturing it. Your very insightful article on cyber-bullying is proof of that. You highlighted a problem that is very real and growing.

      Glad you enjoyed the post.
      redtiger recently posted…Reasons Why You Should Make Friends OnlineMy Profile

  • Profile photo of Dennis Seymour Profile

    Great topic!

    For years that I’ve been working online, I still see the same pitches and “methods” today from the same people. I’m glad to see though that things have recently started to change. More people are actually interacting, making friends and really engaging with one another.

    Hopefully, this year will be even better! :)
    Dennis Seymour recently posted…The 2 Sides of Guest Posting: I’m on the “It Works” Side, How About You?My Profile

  • Profile photo of Judith Chang Profile

    Hi redtiger,

    Thank you for this post, it reaffirms what I always believed about making friends online.

    Making friends online also helps introverts a lot, who find it hard to physically make friends in the normal world.

    The more friends they have online and the easier it becomes for them, the easier it is to make friends in the normal world.

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi Judith

      Thanks for your comment. The good thing about social media is that it gives us a second personality, one that we have got complete control over. While there is nothing wrong with being introverted it can sometimes wrongly be interpreted as a lack of confidence by others.

      Your cyberspace identity gives you the opportunity to reveal a side of you which remains hidden in the real world. This often helps you to realize the leadership qualities you have inside you and it becomes easier to assert yourself in the real world.

      Good point. Thanks for pointing that out.
      redtiger recently posted…Yes, You Can Make Money on the NetMy Profile

      • Profile photo of Judith Chang Profile

        You are correct, being introverted can be wrongly interpreted as lack of confidence by others.

        But do you agree that having many friends online help an introvert eventually become more open to making friends in the real world?

        • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

          Hi Judith
          Yes I do. Any environment in which you can refine your social skills helps you to find the power that you have within you. Very often you are hesitant to reach out not knowing what to expect.

          To give an example: Young people often fall into the trap of using powerless speech. “I am sorry to bother you sir.” Why? You have as much right to talk as he has. Once you embrace that attitude you have moved forward in finding the art of radiating confidence. Making friends in the real world is no problem for confident people. The net is a good place to find this ability to assert yourself. The more you get involved the more your confidence grows.

          Of course there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence attracts people, arrogance drives them away.

          Great point. Thanks for mentioning it.
          redtiger recently posted…Donald Trump can Teach Marketers a LessonMy Profile

  • Profile photo of Chery Profile

    Hello Redtiger, Awesome Post! I never thought it would be possible but I have made so many friends from all over the world since I have been online.

    I could not imagine it being any other way. I guess I do see it all the time though, people want to connect and then shoot you over a link??

    Really? They have no idea if I even have any interest in what they are doing..

    It is so important to reach out and ask questions and just get to know others before promoting anything to them.

    Great Share, One I am very passionate about.
    Thanks
    Chery :))
    Chery recently posted…Can You Still Make Money Online With e-Commerce?My Profile

    • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

      Hi Chery
      Thanks for the great comment. It is highly appreciated.
      Making friends is something positive. I believe that if you give a link it should be the first step in the process of establishing a relationship. In the real world you don’t say “Pleased to meet you. Now buy from me.” This is where so many bloggers get it wrong by linking to hard sales copy.

      A blog should be a place to relax. You should invite new friends into your living room and not into your shop. Hang out with visitors, ask and answer questions. Give them some content to enjoy. Don’t start selling before they have shown an interest in what you have to offer by sharing their e-mail with you.
      Thanks again
      redtiger recently posted…The Funnel: Online Marketing’s Magic WandMy Profile

  • Profile photo of Maketta Profile

    Hello Redtiger,

    It is important to make friends online. That’s one of the reasons I love blogging so much and the internet in general. You have the ability to talk with people all over the world. The world is literally at your feet.

    When people don’t take the time to get to know people it’s hard for them to know what they want or like. That’s where many internet marketer’s have gone wrong. Many people have not quite grasped this concept. Hopefully, with articles like this they will surely come around.

    Thanks for sharing this with us!
    Maketta recently posted…Target Your Market At IBOToolBoxMy Profile

  • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

    Hi Maketta

    Thank you for a kind comment.

    Indeed we live in interesting times. A generation ago social interaction meant talking with a few friends, mostly about the same things. Now technology has bridged a gap for us and the world has become a smaller place.

    Many people have fascinating stories to tell and I agree that the Internet is a place where we learn and grow if we take the time to talk to each other.
    redtiger recently posted…The Funnel: Online Marketing’s Magic WandMy Profile

    • Profile photo of Jeff [Moderator] Profile

      Hello redtiger,

      We noticed your reply is not threaded/nested under @queenmaa Maketta’s comment. This member won’t get a notification nor will they know that you replied to their comment on this post.

      Please always click the “reply” button below the comment, when replying to a comment. That way the commenter gets a notification that you replied to their comment, and your reply will be threaded/nested under theirs, just as mine will be threaded/nested under yours now.

      If you did click the “reply” button but still didn’t get your reply threaded/nested under theirs, then it might be a technical issue we have to look into. But to fix that yourself, simply copy the comment, delete it, then try again by clicking the “reply” button. You usually have a 5 minute window after a comment to delete it.

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  • Profile photo of maxwell ivey Profile

    Hi Redtiger;

    I couldn’t agree with you more.

    Unfortunately, there are far too many people online who are successful who do it without giving credit to their team. So well meaning bloggers podcasters youtube bloggers etc to think you should be able to do it alone.

    My dad used to say that a one man band doesn’t play too loudly for too long. and Tom Sullivan the blind entertainer wrote a book called seeing lessons where he talks a lot about inter dependence.

    I want to leave you with one more thought. Its something I tell people whenever I get a chance to share my story. I tell them that when you refuse to ask for help you rob the other person of the joy that comes from helping a fellow human being.

    I’ve been told by lots of people that changing the viewpoint like this was a real aha moment for them.

    Thanks for sharing. Keep up the great work,

    Max
    maxwell ivey recently posted…from frightened radio show guest to co-host of my own showMy Profile

  • Profile photo of redtiger Profile

    Hi Maxwell

    “A one man band doesn’t play too loudly for too long”. A great expression and very true.

    Humans are made to complete each other. We all have strong points but also points that need to be strengthened by the support of others.

    Helping others carries a reward for both parties involved.
    Thanks for a great comment.

    • Profile photo of Jeff [Moderator] Profile

      Hello redtiger,

      We noticed your reply is also not threaded/nested under @tbbmaxivey Maxwell’s comment. This member won’t get a notification nor will they know that you replied to their comment on this post.

      Please always click the “reply” button below the comment, when replying to a comment. That way the commenter gets a notification that you replied to their comment, and your reply will be threaded/nested under theirs, just as mine will be threaded/nested under yours now.

      If you did click the “reply” button but still didn’t get your reply threaded/nested under theirs, then it might be a technical issue we have to look into. But to fix that yourself, simply copy the comment, delete it, then try again by clicking the “reply” button. You usually have a 5 minute window after a comment to delete it.

      If this happens again the second try, then it is definitely a technical issue, please let our support team know at http://www.KinggedSupport.com and we will look into it for you.

      Thanks.
      Jeff [Moderator] recently posted…4 Reasons why Kingged.com is a Boon for BloggersMy Profile

    • Profile photo of maxwell ivey Profile

      Hi redtiger;

      I do my best to leave thoughtful comments as I find blog commenting one of the best ways to meet new people who could become friends and colleagues.

      You never know what will come from saying hi or giving a friendly wave or doing the online equivalent of leaving comments.

      Keep the great posts coming,

      Max
      maxwell ivey recently posted…what do an amusement park train and my possibly seeing again have in commonMy Profile

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